It’s an inevitable question, one that we will all be asked countless times in our lifetime: What do you like to do?
I truly dread that question. My face takes on that deer in the headlight look, my palms get sweaty, and my brain races to find an answer, any answer because the truth is, I don’t know. I do not know what I like.
The person conversing with me sometimes takes pity on my bumbling efforts to give them a response and will then ask easier questions like: What kind of music do you like, what do you like to do in your free time, what’s your favorite color?
To these questions, I give rehearsed, robotic answers that don’t quite ring true because they are answers that I have chosen based on what everybody else likes, not necessarily what is true for me.
I get so frustrated with myself on these occasions because I’m like what kind of person doesn’t even know what their favorite color is?!
I’ve come to realize that this is partially due to the fact that I am desperately anxious to please others and want them to like me.
It is also due to the fact that I never took the opportunity to get acquainted with myself and figure out what I like, where I stand on issues, etc… because I was consistently told by others the right thing to think and the right thing to like.
It is for this reason that I started this blog. This blog will chronicle my thoughts and serve as an introduction for me to who I am and what I’m about.
The real me has never seen the light of day because the real me thought and felt things that were not “acceptable”, and so, I subconsciously hid her away. But I have decided that the real me is acceptable and I will let her light shine through. I can see her face peeking through the cracks of the fake persona that I present to the world and ladies and gentlemen, she is beautiful. I am so excited to meet her.