Users, manipulators, liars, guilt-trippers, smooth talkers, and the emotionally unavailable – please stay far, far away from me!
I am so tired of my quiet, shy, trusting, naïve, and non-confrontational nature being used as a pass to walk all over me. TIRED!
Part of what has me so frustrated is that that behavior is not only practiced by random strangers, family members are in on it as well! It annoys me that family ties are seen as a perfectly acceptable reason to take advantage of family members, without any form of reciprocity. Yes, we’re family and I love you but that does not mean that you are allowed to take and take from me without giving an iota in return. And using guilt as a means to that end or trying to make me feel sorry for you only works for so long. Sooner, rather than later, these tactics breed resentment and I will be unwilling to help you even if you truly need it.
As for those who constantly stood me up and lied about why? I’m done. Please do not call me anymore. My self-worth told me I deserve better and I’m finally starting to believe her. One guy even tried to say that the reason he stood me up the day before was because his friend was just murdered by her husband. I was shocked and willing to forgive until he mentioned a few weeks later that she had messaged him on Facebook…
And to those of you who change your tactics mid-relationship, I say, please be on your way. How do you start out by being a sweetheart but then turn into someone who criticizes the smallest of things, who withholds affection, who acts like spending time together is too much to ask, who makes me feel unappreciated and like a nuisance, and who sees me in pain and ignores me? I stayed because I believed that there had to be some of the original sweetness in there somewhere, but alas! It was all gone. And since discussions about the drastic change have basically come down to take it or leave it, I’m choosing to leave it.
I must say that these experiences hurt while I was experiencing them but they have been good for my growth as a person though. They have shown me that I need to:
- To value myself more
- To be ok with setting boundaries
- To be ok with letting go
- To do as Dr. Maya Angelou said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”
Awareness is the first step. The next step is to make sure I learn from the above lessons and stay away from people who are no good for me.
Who are you trying to stay away from?